In this paper I wish to engage with moments of infidelity in marriage. Extra-marital affairs usually produce a severe crisis in a marriage, and are often experienced as a question of betrayal. In my historical-ethnographic study on ideas and practices of intimacy and social mobility in Ghana, starting with late colonialism, through independence and post-colonialism, and up to the current era of the post-Cold War moment in Africa, I came across three reasons why people decided to continue with the marriage while they also strongly felt the urge to leave. Whereas it is usually assumed that women are the dependent partner in marriage and will suffer most from extra-marital affairs, from my study it appears that both women and men have similar reasons to accommodate unfaithfulness by their spouse. One, being married confers respectability and is thus important for one’s status. Second, marriage provides a grid of safety based on access to economic resources, housing, emotional support from family life, et cetera. Third, love is often stronger than both partners anticipated and some cases show that exactly in moments of crisis couples realised how connected they were. I will present three cases where infidelity was accommodated after the crisis was settled down and where infidelity was used by the betrayed partner to negotiate more commitment.