Culture and gender are strongly interlinked with access to land in Africa. Most African communities, including KwaZulu Natal in South Africa and Mashonaland Central in Zimbabwe ascribe to patriarchal systems. Research conducted in these African communities show how fluid patriarchy is under different contexts, structures, practises and discourses. By locating and critically analysing the lived realities of elderly women farmers in their daily encounters with patriarchy, this paper seeks to contribute to current policy debates regarding security of land tenure rights for women in South Africa and Zimbabwe. It does so by demonstrating empirically how patriarchy dominates resource allocation and how embedded it is in culture such that simple changes in the policies without addressing the underlying cultural paradigms will not lead to improvement in women’s land tenure rights. The paper therefor argues that it is important to understand rural women’s diverse land interests and use their stories in facilitating community dialogue. It also notes the importance of understanding the culture as a basis for mobilising support from patriarchal gatekeepers in addressing challenges pertaining women’s land tenure rights within their communities. Rural women farmers will enjoy the benefits of gender transformative and gender responsive land policies when there is local buy in by their community facilitated through the patriarchal gatekeepers. Therefore, this paper advocates for multi-stakeholder collaboration between policy makers, traditional leaders, rural women and men farmers in changing the narrative regarding women’s land rights in South Africa and Zimbabwe.